


Reunion

by orphan_account



Category: Xenogears
Genre: DID alter switch, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fade to Black, Ficlet, Fix-It, Fluff, Kissing, Lime, M/M, Making Out, reference to Fei/Elly breaking up, though it's obvious where it's going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 18:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20457491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Fei always loved Citan's kisses the most.





	Reunion

Fei wasn’t sure what, exactly, made kissing him more special than anyone else. That first time his lips had been on Citan’s, though… that had been different. He had been all passion and fire, himself, the alter he didn’t even know existed at that point blending with his own need in that moment, and the look in those eyes, surprised for a moment then as intense as his own feelings as his lips parted invitingly, the taste of his mouth almost as Fei had expected, green tea and mint then… the way he kissed back, so gentle and almost shy at first, yet a shyness soon thrown aside for his own desire.

Even Elly’s kisses did not compare to that, and to have the opportunity again, even if it was because Elly had broken off their relationship...it felt as if he had returned to what “home” he had, with his lips against his once more as they embraced, to feel them part just enough to slip his tongue between them, to taste and smell that familiar mouth once again, to feel that body pressed against his own, to feel the strength of someone he knew he wouldn’t hurt regardless of who he was...now that they both finally knew, now that they had no more secrets between them.

“I missed you so very much…” The words between the kisses, as those hands that could be capable of both the most extreme violence, and yet the gentleness they always conveyed with him slid his shirt off of his shoulders. “You do not know…”

“I think I do,” Fei whispered back, as his own hands fumbled at the kimono’s sashes - in a way, he found it so intriguing the way Citan seemed to overdress, it reminded him of opening a gift or a secret store of treasure to slowly take off those clothes, to know that all of him were among the few people he trusted enough to allow it. ”I missed you. The way you kiss me, that I… that I don’t have to worry that Id will hurt you, because it  _ wasn’t  _ me holding him back even when you…”

“And for that, I am still so sorry.” Another kiss, as his hands went into Fei’s hair, undoing the ponytails to let it fall down into its natural state. “I hurt you. For my own curiosity, and because I wanted to talk to him, but… I lost sight that it was hurting both of you… all of you…”

“You did… and we decided amongst ourselves to forgive you, if you forgive us for anyone who mattered to you in Etrenank.” The voice was not Fei’s, but Id’s, a harsh, bitter voice, yet for once  _ not _ threatening immediate violence. “I like you. I wasn’t lying. When we’re with you…it’s like he doesn’t care if I appear. Because he knows I like you and that I  _ want  _ you. He doesn’t have to hold me back for you, one who isn’t terrified of me.”

“Can I have him back, too?”

“For the first time, you will. He would scream at me for hours if I deprived him of your reunion. But once he’s had his turn, I promise you I will come back on the stage… and not in this lower form I am speaking through right now. And...I promise I will be  _ everything _ you expect from me…” 

Fei blinked at him as he looked around. “Oh...it happened again, didn’t it?”

“It is all right, Fei. I know him, too, now.” He let his hand rest on his face, and kissed him once again. “I love all of you…”

“Fawning? You don’t have to do that just to get me to love you.” Fei threw his arms around him and brought them down to the bed. “I always have. And… you’re not obligated to me-“

“But what if I wanted to be?” 

“You’re always so mischievous…” Another kiss. “It stopped being about obligation a long time ago.”

“You are exactly right…” He shrugged off the kimono, and let Fei slide his pants off of his hips, while he kissed him once more and reached for the armor plate and belt, unbuckling it. “Is that not more comfortable for you?”

“Still too many clothes,” Fei mumbled as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of the heart-print boxers, the last article of clothing Citan wore, with a slight giggle. “Where did you even…”

“Yui bought them for me. She said I looked cute.”

“You do. But you look better without them right now…”

“I would say the same of you…”

**Author's Note:**

> Simple explanations of DID/OSDD in infographics, courtesy of clever-and-unique-name: https://imgur.com/a/cumnagV
> 
> Verified resources on DID/OSDD:
> 
> https://themighty.com/2017/10/how-to-help-dissociative-episode/
> 
> https://themighty.com/2016/10/what-dissociation-feels-like/
> 
> https://themighty.com/2016/06/self-care-tips-for-dissociation/
> 
> https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/dissociative-disorders
> 
> https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20355215


End file.
